I deal with a lot of band leaders, and one
problem they consistently have is that they can't recruit
the right people into their band. It's certainly hard to do,
but some bands are doing themselves no favours in the way
they advertise and some are actively putting out ads that
will attract terrible people who will cause chaos in their
band. The wrong ad, whether you are advertising a position
in your band or seeking a band yourself, will either get no
response, or a response from people you don't ever want to
deal with. This is a list of 11 dumb things that crop up again
and again in these ads. Don't do them.
1. Not Saying Anything About What Music You
Play
What is the first thing a musician thinks
about when joining a band? Whether the music is music they
want to play. The kind of music you play should be in your
headline. If all you say is "guitarist wanted" then
that's pretty much useless and suitable musicians won't even
click on it because there's not enough info there. And if
you're one of those tosspots who says "my music has no
genre, man, it's revolutionary" then just put "boring
self-absorbed hipster rubbish" in the title instead.
2. Citing Influences Instead of Saying What
You Want to Sound Like
Name-checking a couple of bands in your ad
is a good idea. Listing dozens of bands that have very little
in common other than you like then isn't. Most decent musicians
are looking for projects with a strong sense of musical direction,
not a list of bands that some guy has on his Spotify. The
ad should be clear on what the music will sound like. Things
like "Fast, aggressive death metal," "Laid-back
jazzy pop" or "Country Rock with a Skynrd vibe"
are good enough to point people in the right direction. If
you don't know enough about your planned sound to give it
a one-sentence description like that, then you need to make
those decisions before you think of advertising.
3. Putting Completely the Wrong Things in
the Headline
Here's a couple of ads I came across this
week: "Band with logo and possible management seek vocalist"
"Band with production deal seeking musicians" Not
only do those ads give no clue as to what the music sounds
like, they also scream of desperation and terrible priorities,
particularly the first one. If all you can say about your
band is that it has a logo, you don't have a band, you have
a doodle on a piece of paper. And "Possible Management"?
That's meaningless, all bands have "possible" world
tours, major-label deals, armies of groupies and everything
else. It make you look disorganised and desperate. The second
headline also look desperate. This band has a vague "production
deal" (the text of the ad didn't elaborate) and was looking
for any and all musicians. Again, this is not a band, it is
a piece of paper, and what's more it looks like that it was
a piece of paper that was signed before the ad placer had
any musicians who could fulfill it, and now he's in real trouble.
Who on earth would join a band in such a mess? There should
be 3 things and 3 things only in your ad headline:
· Who you want
· What kind of music it is
· Where the band is at
You'll also need the location if the site
or forum you're posting on isn't sorted by geography. So,
good headlines are things like:
"London rock band with released EP seek
bassist"
"Pro LA country covers band seek drummer
for paid work"
"Start-up Birmingham folk band seek female
acoustic guitarist/singer"
That's all the info people need to decide
whether to click on it or not.
4. Droning on And on About You/The Band Without
Mentioning the Reader
Ugh. If I'm looking for a band to join, I
want to know what's in it for me. I don't want to read your
resume. So many ads show a complete lack of understanding
of the perspective of the person that they are looking for,
and come across as puff pieces for the person placing the
ad. Not only does it not convey the necessary information,
it also makes you look like an egotistical douche.
Particularly annoying are the sorts of people
who boast about who they used to work with. If you write "I
used to work with Sony," then my immediate reaction is
"Why aren't you working with them any more?" The
assumption is that you messed up/got fired and that you are
trying to rebuild you career. If you used to work with big
names but don't any more, then you either need to explain
why you're slumming it or just shut up.
Just tell people 2 things: What are you looking
for and what can you offer them. That's all.
5. Using the Word "Urgent" When
It's Not Needed
Don't misuse the word "urgent,"
it often has very negative connotations. You can use it if
you are facing an actual deadline, i.e. "Dep blues drummer
urgently needed for paid Chicago gig on [date]." If there's
no deadline, then you are giving out those desperate vibes
again. I've seen "urgent" ads from bands that are
starting up, or people seeking songwriting partners or producers.
Why are these "urgent"? What will happen if you
don't find someone straight away?
All that using the word "urgent"
in this way will convey is that you are impatient and desperate
to get on stage, rather than wanting the right arrangements
and the right people together. Experienced musicians know
that this is a recipe for disaster and will prefer bands who
are prioritising getting things done right rather than getting
things done fast.
6. Attacking the Person Whose Replacement
You Are Advertising
So what if the previous guitarist was a dick?
By calling them out in the ad for their replacement, you are
saying a number of very bad things about yourself:
- I hired a dick to be my last guitarist
- My band is full of politics and drama
- I like to insult people who can't answer
back
- Chances are the problem was my fault anyway
Nobody wants to join a band like that. Don't
say things like "differences of opinion" or "musical
issues," people will see right through that and it looks
like you're hiding something. Most people answering the ad
won't care why the last guy left anyway, and if they do, they'll
ask you. Keep it away from the ad.
7. Ads That Are Too Short
One from the small ads this week: "Bassist
wanted. Email me for details." Er, why should I? If this
person is too lazy to tell me even the most basic information
about his band, why should I bother to make any effort to
respond? Also, if he's this lazy and slapdash about something
as important as recruiting to his band, then he's probably
a nightmare to work with anyway. I wouldn't reply even if
I was Jaco Pastorius. Again, 3 things: what are you looking
for, what kind of music is it, and what is the band currently
doing? If that info isn't in the ad (it should really all
be in the headline) then it's too short.
It's not just over-short ads that make you
look sloppy. I saw an ad this week from a "professional"
vocalist that had a blurry picture of her drunk at a party
and said "sorry about the pic it's all I have on my phone
lol." If she couldn't be bothered to take the tiny bit
of extra effort to wait till she got home and could get a
better picture, what does that say about her attitude and
willingness to work hard? Bad things, that's what.
8. Ads That Are Too Long
Many ads are too short, but some are also
too long. People don't have time to read your life story when
they're browsing dozens of ads. They just need enough info
to know if you are worth responding to. Then you can fill
them in on the fine details, through an info pack, website,
audition, meeting or other things. After the essential what,
who, why and where, anything else is likely to put people
off, even if it's good.
9. Ads Full of Basic Mistakes
I don't want to join a band run by morons.
If your ad has text speak, basic spelling errors or generally
looks like it was written by someone who was high on cough
mixture then you'll only get replies from other idiots. Good
musicians will judge you through your ad, and if your ad is
lazy and sloppy they will assume that you are lazy and sloppy
as a person and not someone they want to be in a band with.
Take the time to check your ad before it goes. If you're not
posting in your native language, get a fluent speaker to check
it first.
10. Abuse of the Word "Professional"
Let's be clear: "Professional" means
"Paid." If you advertise for a "pro,"
then your replies will be from people who will expect to be
paid. Likewise, if you advertise yourself as "Professional,"
then you will not get replies from bands that can't pay you
(yet). Make sure that's what you want before you say it.
And if you are writing an ad that says something
like "This is unpaid, but will be great exposure for
your music blah blah blah" then do us all a favour and
punch yourself in the face until you're no longer everything
that's wrong with the music business. Thanks.
|