The Wisdom and Tao of Frank Zappa

Take some advice from a 'true' Genius

“I don't care whether I'm remembered. As a matter of fact, there's a lot of people who would like to forget about me as soon as possible, and I'm on their side! You know? Just ... hurry up and get it over with. I do what I do because I like doing it, I do it for my amusement first, if it amuses you ... that's fine. I'm happy that you'll participate in it. But, uh, after I am dead and gone, there is no need to deal with any of this stuff, because it is not written for future generations, it is not performed for future generations. It is performed for now. Get it while it's hot, you know?"

That's it. = FRANK ZAPPA

“So many books, so little time.” “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” “Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.” “I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.” “I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”

“Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love.
Love is not music. Music is THE BEST.”

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”

“Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.” “Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.” 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?” “There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.” “A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.” “It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.”

“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.”

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.” “Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.” “Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”

“The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”

“There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.”

“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.” “My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.” “You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”

“I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged. I've existed for years but very little has changed. I'm the tool of the government and industry too.
For I'm destined to rule and regulate you. You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away. I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say.
I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set....”

“Drugs will turn you into your parents.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just keep your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.”

“May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.”

“Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned--I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.”

“I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?”

“If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.”

“Don't eat the yellow snow.”

“The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively-- because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?”

“A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.”

“Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.”

“In a fight between yourself and the world, always side with the world.”

“The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.”

“I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.”

“The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.”